I Didn’t Act Like a Christian

I didn’t act like a Christian that day.  It was one of THOSE days, the kind where I was hit from every side, and my stress level was at breaking point. My condescending words spewed out like a 6^th grade volcano science experiment. What I had said was true, but the manner in which I said it was not how I want to be known. I went home that day vacillating between remorse over my response and justification that I had been right. After all, SHE had spoken wrongly to me first. SHE wasn’t doing her job in the way I thought she should. SHE wasn’t dealing with the same stress that I was. All the while, I knew that maybe in the world’s eyes I was, but in God’s eyes I wasn’t justified in reacting the way that I did.

But how could I apologize when, in my opinion, she had behaved more rudely than I had? Shouldn’t she be apologizing to me? My pride continued to rationalize that I should just forget the interaction and move on. But I couldn’t. The words of Philippians 2:14, 15 convicted me, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing…then you will shine among them like stars in the sky.” I hadn’t shined very bright that day. I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “If you apologize, you are humbling yourself in a way that is unlike how the world lives. The grace that has been given to you should overflow to others. Go shine… and tell her why you are different. Don’t react the way everyone else does. Responding in a way that is different is what makes you shine as a Christian.”

It was hard to make myself obey, but I was glad that I did. And because I don’t want to go through that again, I will choose my words more carefully in the future! I know that my apology surprised her, and she was receptive and forgiving. My explanation of how God had convicted me seemed to intrigue her as I explained that I felt I had been a bad example of the joy that lives in my heart. She assured me that all was well, and I noticed that our next few interactions were more friendly than they previously had been. I detected a hint of respect that had not been there before.

Will I make this same mistake again in the future? Probably. But most likely to a different person, in a different situation. But maybe to this one person, I am shining a little brighter now. Like stars in the sky, standing out as a little different, making her wonder about that difference. Because I told her that I have the light of the world inside of me.

SHINING

I’m just a little candle

Shining in the night

To a lost and dying world

That needs to know God’s light.

I set my light upon the stand

For all the world to see

That the source that makes my candle burn

Is Jesus inside me.

Sometimes troubles come along,

And the dark hours seem to stay,

But I just let my little candle burn,

And its light shows me the way.

My little flame may not be much,

But God says there is a need

For candles like me to lend out their light,

To make a way through the darkness and lead.

Sometimes I wander from my kindling source,

Or I let my wick get too low.

My flame then dies to a flicker

And has only a smoldering glow.

In that darkness I struggle and stumble,

But as soon as I call on His name,

He’s always right there to build up my fire

Back to a bright shining flame.

Yes, I’m just a little candle,

Burning bright in the dark.

Hoping to start a huge fire

From the warmth of my tiny spark.

c. Bobbie Perkins