I have taken a long hiatus from my blog to concentrate on my certification for Biblical counseling. I am happy to say that I am almost finished! I will be returning to blogging, but not quite as frequently as before. Hope you enjoy this one!
Less Than
This past weekend I had the privilege of helping with the retreat that Life Choices offers to women who have abortion in their past. It was a time of raw emotions of every spectrum—grief, anger, shame, hope, joy, peace, and so much more. Their stories were all different but amazingly similar in the struggles that each woman wrestled with.
One of the common threads women always share is the feeling of being “less than.” Comparing themselves to other women in their church, they often feel less worthy to serve, less respected, less beautiful, less righteous, less whole. LESS THAN.
Oh, how I can relate to that feeling of less than! I remember when my pastor’s wife first asked me to lead a women’s Bible study at our church. She did not yet know about my past abortion, so I felt compelled to tell her. She obviously didn’t know I wasn’t as squeaky clean as some of those other women. Surely there would be a moment of uncomfortable back-pedaling, and she would politely but awkwardly tell me that she was sure she could find somebody else.
But that didn’t happen. I summed up my confession to her with the words, “So I just don’t think I could ever be a sedate church lady.” What I was actually saying was, “I can never measure up to those other women because of my past.” I will never forget her reply! She emphatically said, “I don’t want you to be a sedate church lady! You are exactly what we need!”
It was a simple conversation, but it was a turning point for me. Even though I had already experienced a significant amount of growth and healing before that, it wasn’t until that day that I was able to embrace my identity in Christ at a deeper level. I discovered the truth of Colossians 3:3, “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” To me, that is one of the most incredible verses in the Bible!
The old me died, and I was raised to a new life. But it wasn’t a new life that was a better version of myself. My life is hidden IN CHRIST. Because Christ lives in me, when God looks at me, HE SEES THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST! It doesn’t get any better than that! When God looks at me, He sees the same level of righteousness as He does when He sees those other church ladies or my pastor’s wife… because my life is hidden—God sees the righteousness of Christ instead!
I don’t struggle with comparing myself to other women anymore. Well, actually today I did tell a friend that I am dorkier than she is…But I digress….
Why does the enemy work so hard to make us feel less than? One reason is that a defeated Christian isn’t exactly a glowing advertisement to draw other people toward Christ. But there was another reason for me. If I thought of myself as less-than, then I would only expect myself to have a less-than walk with the Lord. It’s not that I was living in any blatant sin, but living a life of holiness seemed too lofty to reach if I didn’t see the holiness God had already given me through Christ. Finding my identity in Christ made me desire to live in a way that glorifies God. And I began to serve Him from my identity instead of for my identity.
Those sedate church ladies? I found out they have struggles, too. Their sin may be different, but the pain from sin wounds all of us. Don’t fool yourself into thinking there is respectable sin on one end and ostracizing sin on the other. All sin ostracizes us from God. The sedate church ladies, the choir director, even the pastor…they are all ostracized from God apart from Christ. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8).
If you are still carrying that burden, you don’t have to. Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” If you have questions, message me on social media or email me at deeperrootsblog1@gmail.com. I may be a church lady, but I’ll never be sedate. Jesus wasn’t exactly sedate either.
