In honor of National Marriage Week this week and Valentine’s Day today, I am sharing the story of my friend. Serving one another in humility is a crucial component of a healthy marriage. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes we just have to obey and trust God to honor our actions.
*Note- I am in no way encouraging anyone to stay in a relationship that is abusive. The details of this friend’s story are longer than I am able to include on my blog. Although her marriage has experienced some healing, I am fully aware that this is not always the case for everyone. Having a spirit of humility does not mean subjecting yourself to abuse. If you are experiencing this, please reach out to someone for help- a women’s shelter, church, friend, relative, even a health care provider. Google domestic violence help near you. There is also an app created by Robin McGraw (the wife of Dr. Phil) called Aspire News App. It is disguised to look like a News App but provides help for domestic violence victims. Please get help if you are in danger!
She helped him out of the shower without a word. She was concentrating because it was hard supporting his weight during the transfer. He wasn’t a skinny man. As she handed her husband a towel, she realized he was getting weaker. When he first had the stroke, he was able to walk well with his walker. Now his legs were so shaky.
Memories of earlier years flooded her mind. His alcoholism. The verbal abuse and cruel words. Tears from his hurtful remarks. She never brought friends home. Nobody could know her secret pain. How strong and capable she seemed to all her coworkers! They had no idea what she suffered at home. And she would never let her mask slip for them to see. She had not expected the drinking to stop in the manner it did. He was no longer able to drive to the liquor store. He relied on her for everything. Now she was the one in charge.
She is a dear friend of mine. Somehow during the course of our friendship, we both began to let our masks slip. We developed a kinship in Christ and began studying the Bible together. We grew together and learned from one another. She learned to study and apply scripture to her life. I learned about humility, forgiveness, and serving.
It shook my soul to know how she served her husband. The very one who had hurt her the most in her life was the one to whom she now humbly ministered. She performed those menial tasks for nobody to see. Somehow in the process, her spirit was changed. A supernatural patience gave her the ability to suffer his gruffness with a softness she had not known before. She pitied his frustration at what his life had become due to his poor choices. He saw what hers had become through Christ.
What God did in the life of my friend is what Jesus taught in John 13. Walking along dusty roads in sandals caused feet to become dirty, so servants washed the feet of people as they entered the home. John 13:5-8 reads “After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
“No, said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
Peter did not understand why Jesus would degrade himself, performing the task of a servant. Jesus wanted to teach the spirit of submission to God even when we don’t understand. Jesus was also teaching that we can walk more closely with Him by letting go of willful sin, allowing Him to cleanse us. Jesus was visually teaching the significance of humility as opposed to a proud spirit.
Would I be as willing to quietly serve, not where I am publicly lauded for my efforts, but in secret, where no one thanks me? Would I be willing to serve the one who has hurt me the most? This is humility. This is the spirit of Christ.
REFLECTION:
Matthew 6:1
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do you will have no reward in heaven.”
Philippians 2:3
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
APPLICATION:
What humble act of service can you perform for someone?
Is God asking you to step out in obedience, but you are hesitant because you don’t understand what He is doing?
Is there an area of your life that you need to relinquish to Jesus for cleansing?
Dear God, thank you for the ultimate example of self-sacrifice by Jesus’ death on the cross for my sin. Help me to live the example Jesus set for us by serving others with love and humility. Show me how to serve those who have hurt me and to serve out of love for you and not the praise of others. In Jesus’ name- Amen.
