I wasn’t getting anywhere. She had emphatically rejected the gospel. She was a brick wall, and I could find no breach to penetrate. I silently prayed for the Holy Spirit to be my voice.
I explained that her pregnancy was so far advanced that her baby could already survive outside the womb, even if born today. I discussed the option of adoption. I explained fetal development—that her baby could feel pain. She seemed to have no connection to her baby, saying she had to just think about herself.
So I appealed to her God of self. I explained abortion procedures and the risks involved. I even talked about the emotional risks. Oh, the emotional risks….
I remembered that stoicism and self-focus of my own abortion so many years ago and how the emotions came later. I silently pondered that surely her suffering would be even greater with a pregnancy so much more advanced than mine had been.
Not that one life is more valuable than another. These babies all have value. But there is something about seeing that fully developed baby on the ultrasound screen that often helps women bond with their babies. I prayed it would happen as we walked into the ultrasound room together.
Little Baby on the Screen
Little baby on the screen, I saw you dance today.
Only weeks till you’re ready for birth,
I pray your Mama sees your worth,
And that God uses this ultrasound machine,
Sweet little baby on the screen.
Little baby on the screen, your heart was beating and strong,
Safely snuggled in your Mama’s womb.
She looked away from her belly’s tomb.
Your eyes open, your face serene,
Sweet little baby on the screen.
Little baby on the screen, you are formed by God.
When you raised up your tiny hand,
I was praying your mom would understand.
Were you saying, “Mommy, please just try”?
Were you asking why you had to die?
Little baby on the screen, I entrust you to a faithful God.
She looked away at your heartbeat,
Said you’d keep her from goals to meet.
She didn’t even shed a tear that day,
Just picked up her purse and walked away.
Little baby on the screen, your life has purpose.
Now I keep your picture in a drawer
To remind me there are many more.
All beautiful, though unplanned,
Precious, perfect when I scanned.
Little baby on the screen, your brief life still counts for good.
I will shed the tears for you,
Even if it’s something your mom can’t do.
You are known, honored, loved, and seen,
Sweet little baby on the screen.
-Bobbie Perkins c.2024
I don’t know why that particular baby impacted me more than the others. Perhaps because the pregnancy was so far advanced, and the baby was so animated on the ultrasound. Maybe because the mom seemed so cold-hearted. Probably because God had a lesson to teach me….
You see, I went home that day mad at that mom. Good grief! Her pregnancy was almost over! What’s a couple more months to let her baby live? It may have been righteous anger, but I realized something else that brought conviction to my heart. If that mom were to later return for post-abortion counseling, I would have to work through my own anger at her in order to be able to counsel her. And God revealed the sin in my own heart….that there was a corner of my heart that believed she didn’t deserve to experience the freedom from guilt that I had experienced.
I’m so ashamed to admit it….now that the Lord revealed my pride. I was like Jonah with the Ninevites, when he was mad at God because he believed he deserved God’s forgiveness more than they did. Pride is so ugly. I am no more deserving of God’s grace and mercy than that lost woman who killed her baby in the third trimester. Sin is sin. We are all hopelessly without means to save ourselves. We ALL need the blood of Jesus applied to our iniquity. I began praying harder….not just for that woman’s baby, but for her soul. I also prayed that she would go into early labor, delivering her baby before she would have a chance to get an abortion.
God gave me a deeper glimpse of His grace and mercy that day. He had to reveal the ugly darkness of prejudice in my heart, but He’s good like that…gradually leading us down that path of sanctification, finding corners of our hearts that need to be made more like Christ. “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me,” (Psalm 51:10). He’s going to have to pour a lot of bleach on this old heart of mine. The bleaching blood of my Savior, making me more like Him. I’m so grateful that He does.
This post is in honor of Sanctity of Human Life Day, which falls on January 21st this year. It was first instituted by President Ronald Reagan and is celebrated close to the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, in which the Supreme Court in 1973 issued a ruling that guaranteed women access to abortion. Roe v. Wade was overturned in June of 2022, through Dobbs v. Jackson, giving individual states the power to regulate certain aspects of abortion. But abortion is still happening, even in states where abortion is illegal. With the advent of the abortion pill, which can be shipped to any mailbox, even in “abortion-free” states, abortion is happening in women’s homes, in their bathrooms, without medical oversight. God have mercy on us all.
But our God is a God of redemption. There is a way to reverse a medical abortion, “the abortion pill,” even after the process has been started. Sometimes women take that first pill and instantly have regrets, or maybe they’ve been coerced by someone to take it. The abortion pill is actually a two step process with two different medications. The first pill, mifepristone, is taken, which blocks progesterone, a hormone produced during pregnancy. Depleting the progesterone essentially starves the baby of a blood supply and nutrients, killing the baby. Typically two days later, the woman takes the second medication, misoprostol, which induces labor, and she then delivers a dead baby. It is supposed to be limited to less than 11 weeks gestation, but there is no medical oversight and a lot of medical concerns that aren’t addressed.
BUT! God loves to redeem life! There is a way to save that little life even after the woman has taken the first abortion pill, if she is able to get help quickly by receiving progesterone before she takes that second pill. Life Choices of Memphis is one of the few pregnancy centers nationwide that offers abortion pill reversal, but many more are looking to add this service in the future. For more information, please visit abortionpillreversal.com and lifechoicesmemphis.org and lcfriends.org.
If you live in an area with a crisis pregnancy center, I encourage you to become involved. They need your financial support. There are also many other ways to help—donate baby items or Uber gift cards, hold a baby shower at your church to gather items to donate, participate in their fundraising events, pray for them, stay educated on the issues surrounding abortion and the sanctity of human life, tell others what you are learning, and research before you vote. For those who are doing those things….THANK YOU! For those who aren’t….what are you waiting for?!
“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them,” (James 4:17).
